This Is What It’s Come To For The Mets
Posted by Don Burke
NEW YORK, NY – The World’s Foremost Mentalist, The Amazing Kreskin, has offered his unparalleled mental abilities to the struggling New York Mets in an effort to help them break out of their current slump.
In a letter to Jay Horwitz, the Mets’ Vice President of Media Relations, Kreskin offered to meet with the team as a group, where he would train and condition them mentally using a technique that would relieve them of the negative impacts the losses have exacted, thereby improving their playing and leading to success on the field.
AmazingKreskin.com The Amazing Kreskin claims to be the World’s Foremost Mentalist and he’s willing to help to the Mets break their slump. Although Mr. Horwitz has not indicated whether or not the team requires his assistance, Kreskin, a life-long baseball fan, insists his offer remains open so long as The Mets continue their losing ways.
This is not the first time Kreskin has offered to help a professional sports team break out of a terrible slump. In March of 2002, Toronto’s NBA team, The Raptors, was experiencing a devastating 13-game losing streak. Using the power of persuasion, Kreskin was able to affect the Raptor’s fans and the city of Toronto. As a result of this specifically crafted technique, sports writers credited Kreskin with breaking the slump, claiming it had a sufficient impact on the team.
“My confidentiality with individual sports figures would not allow me to bring up specific names,” noted Kreskin, “but in the past, I have been able to offer a technique that changed the fabric of a player’s success.”
As the Mets continue to struggle at home against strong American League teams, fans can only hope the team will help itself by reaching out to The Amazing Kreskin and welcoming the power of suggestion into their clubhouse.