The Pit That Threatened Congressional Stability

Posted by kreskin On January - 27 - 2011

The Pit That Threatened Congressional Stability

In looking into the background of the esteemed, “highly qualified” State of Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich, who at one time had the colossal courage coupled with monumental nerve to run for President of the United States….

His biggest contribution as a congressional representative in the United States is his suing the company that runs the cafeteria at the U.S. House of Representatives for $150,000. The reason is because a few years ago one of the olives when he was eating had an olive pit in it, and the olives were supposed to be pitted. His claim is that in biting into the olive, it caused him oral and emotional damage.

I predict that within the next couple of months, 982,476 people will sue grocery stores, etc. because in chewing seedless grapes, a seed turned up.

This man is reflecting an image not only to adult Americans, but young people who could aspire to go into public life and serve the country. In the rest of the world, I don’t think we need to worry about the image that this character is presenting, as he’s given some of the most dismal and crises-ridden countries, including Haiti, Greece, etc., an opportunity to laugh hysterically.

World-famous mentalist, The Amazing Kreskin, would like to issue this offer: He will offer to sit at a nearby table whenever Kucinich opts to have olives and pinpoint on the plate which olives have a pit in them. He’d like to give the Congressman a discount, because of the financial stress of our government representatives and their salaries, and would simply ask the fee of $1,000 per dinner.

Seriously, God forbid a cup of hot tea spilled, or perhaps a glass of wine as well, onto his clean jacket, let alone other terrifying calamities. Who in their right mind would feel comfortable inviting him to their home, where he might stub his toe on a door or trip over a terrorist device such as a pet cat or dog? It wouldn’t be worth the risk.

ESPecially,

The Amazing Kreskin

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